Weird is Good: Eric’s Journey to Authenticity

What if embracing your quirks could be the key to unlocking your true potential?

In this episode, Lauri sits down with visionary leader Eric Ayers to explore his transformative journey from a habitual people-pleaser to an authentic speaker, passionate about sparking moments of transformation. 

Eric shares the early influences that shaped his voice, the challenges of conforming to expectations, and the breakthrough moments that reignited his connection to his true self. Together, Lauri and Eric dive into the profound impact of mindfulness, self-awareness, and shifting perspectives on personal growth and speaking with soulful authenticity.

TAKEAWAYS:
1. Early Influences Shape Our Voice
2. Awareness is Powerful: Once we identify the masks we wear in life and on stage we can remove them.
3. Shifting Perspectives Shifts Energy: Simple questions can catalyze transformation.
4. Authenticity is a Superpower: Reconnecting with your true self can improve relationships, career, and personal fulfillment.
5. Weirdness is a Sign of Growth: Unfamiliar feelings are a sign of transformation and progress.
6. Gratitude is a Future-Focused Power: It allows us to embody future possibilities in the present.
7. Give Yourself Permission to Be YOU: When you do, you’ll help create space for others to explore their truth and create a ripple effect of transformation.

Connect with Eric:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/eric-ayers-emc2
emccoaching.me
https://user.zant.app/provider/profile/Eric_Ayers

Story Magic
A Soulful Speaking Playshop for loving rebels on a soul-driven mission.

Join me for Story Magic — a live, interactive Soulful Speaking Playshop where you’ll learn powerful secrets from the ancient art of theatre for telling engaging, dynamic stories.

The Speaker Alter Ego Quiz

Take the Speaker Alter Ego quiz to find out which protective mask hides your natural radiance so you can learn how to get present, connect deeply, and share your vision when it matters most!

https://voice-matters.com/speaker-alter-ego-quiz/

Chapters

• 0:00 Navigating Voice and Authenticity
• 6:19 Alignment in Life and Speaking
• 11:28 Self-Discovery
• 28:45 Eric’s Perspective Shift: From "Don’t Want" to "Do Want"
• 30:16 Embrace Your Weirdness
• 40:21 Ubuntu and Stories of Connection
• 45:34 Pivot Pivot Closing Questions

Transcript

Lauri: 1:08

Hey everybody, welcome back to the Soulful Speaking podcast. My guest today is Eric Ayers. Hello, hello and welcome Eric and listeners. Eric is a visionary and motivational leader dedicated to igniting the flame of personal potential in all those he encounters. Welcome, eric, and thank you for joining.

Eric: 1:35

Yeah, this is a delight. I appreciate the opportunity and I've been looking forward to this for a while, so yeah, thank you, me too, me too.

Lauri: 1:46

Let's go ahead and dive in what has been your journey with speaking so far in your life.

Eric: 1:57

How far back do you want me to go?

Lauri: 2:00

What is the first memory that just popped into your mind?

Eric: 2:04

It was as a as a kid, I challenged everything. I was the the seeker to see how far I could take things. I was the seeker to see how far I could take things. And I remember being met with, you know, adults who would not appreciate that and that created patterns so fast forward that it became what do I need to say In certain situations? Who do I need to be? What voice needs to come out? What do I need to say? And this was unconscious, this was a full subconscious, habitual aspect that started from that first memory that you mentioned.

Lauri: 2:50

Yeah, in that first memory, how did they express their resistance to your pushing of the boundaries and your curiosity?

Eric: 3:04

Anger was the emotion that I remember, but it could have been fear, I don't know. I don't know, but as a kid I was scared, so therefore that was generally associated with with anger you like you can't remember the words that people were saying to you.

Lauri: 3:37

You remember the anger that was coming at you, the fear that you felt and the like. Here's what I who do I need to be in order to protect against that.

Eric: 3:46

Correct. The words that were prevalent was either do as I say, not as I do, or it was when I would question you know why? Why can't I do that? It was because I said so. So it was almost out of frustration. And I mean that was from most adult figures in my when I was a kid, so teachers, so it wasn't one set, one group of adults that were in my life, it was continuous. It was kind of you know who I was.

Lauri: 4:27

Yeah, yeah. And then go ahead and take us forward in time. There was a phase where it was habitual what was going on in your life and how was it helping you and how was it costing you to be showing up as this habitual, saying what you think you need to say?

Eric: 4:47

Yeah, such a great question. It was helping me, in an unhealthy way, be a people pleaser. So if I didn't make people mad and I made them laugh, so comedy humor that's my go-to Even now. If I'm super uncomfortable or there's a chance that I'm going to make someone angry, it's automatically. Let's create humor out of this, which sometimes is a good place. But ultimately it led me to conforming to what I was told life is supposed to be worth and it all just became all right. This is the path, this is the pattern, and it's almost like the voice now that I'm thinking about it. The voice was taking away my ability to manifest what I wanted. It was what others told me to do or thought I should do, and I took that on as my truth.

Lauri: 5:53

Yeah, living how you think you need to live, rather than living the way you feel called to live, right.

Eric: 6:09

Right, and to add complexity to that, because my whole life I felt a calling on me. My great grandmother. When I would have the opportunity to see her, she would always say there's something special about that boy. And so I grew up very religious, we were in a very religious family, and that was always just automatically assigned a label of he's going to be a pastor, preacher, right. There was no thinking outside of no, we live in a world of infinite possibility and potential Like what is this special, you know? And so that helped conform the voice because it was, or take the voice away because it's like no, no, this is, this is amazing and it is amazing. It wasn't, it wasn't in the cards, for for me it was what was wanted, um, on other people's behalf.

Lauri: 7:07

so yeah, so I hear hear the complexity that you mentioned of the one place that someone was saying you are special, that you had that and yet it was a bit of. You are special and this is the only way that can look. You need to go over here and this is how you have to live your life.

Lauri: 7:31

Right go over here and this is how you have to live your life, Because people didn't understand you were special and that could take on a lot of different forms infinite possibility. Like you said, it was almost as if the being the pastor was the special, rather than you are special. Go channel it where you're called to channel it.

Eric: 7:54

Correct, correct.

Lauri: 7:57

Yeah, I have a quiz. I'm going to mention it now because it ties in to two of the things that you said. It's the speaker alter ego mask quiz and there's two of the masks. They are not us, so it's not a personality typing quiz. It's like what are the five different masks that we might wear when we're on a stage or in our lives? And sometimes you would joke in order to diffuse the situation and then it felt like it became habitual and it was no longer a choice. What I read into that is when it's conscious, it's a powerful choice, when you choose to change the energy in a situation consciously using your ability to joke. When it's not conscious, it's disempowering. When it feels like I need to joke to entertain, I need to joke to be accepted, right? That's a little bit of the jive and jokester mask. And then you also said sometimes you were a people pleaser and there's a peppy pleaser for speaking, in particular, where it's like it's particularly perky or peppy in its doing of the people pleasing.

Eric: 9:16

Yeah, yeah, I can, I can relate to that. Yeah, most definitely, most definitely. And, um, I love that nuance and that um call out with the joking because, yes, uh, like, for example, my human design is a generator, so I am put here to generate energy. And if that is my cause.

Eric: 9:38

if I have the ability to shift energy with humor conscious humor that flips people out of you know this negative rabbit hole that they're going in of this negative loop pattern, to flip them into something more positive, then heck, yeah, let's do it. But if it's a byproduct of I feel insecure and I feel awkward and I'm going to rely on this as a because I don't want to face this, no, that's, that's the that helped create the you know unhealthy eric of the past yeah, yeah, and the it's like when you said it, then it reminds me of the fool in shakespeare's time, which the fool is an archetype.

Lauri: 10:25

For people who haven't studied shakespeare deeply it's it's like comics who are highly intelligent and see everything. And the fool archetype is the one where everyone else in the kingdom would be watching the emperor naked and either didn't see that the emperor was naked or did not have the courage to call out that the emperor was naked and the fool was the one who could see it and say it and kind of create a liberating feeling in the kingdom by speaking that truth. And when you talk about making the joke to use your generator superpower that's in service of others and if we're making a joke to be accepted, we're making the joke to keep our own comfort right and then on what eventually starts to have a cost and be an an unhealthy comfort, like you said, the unhealthy eric.

Lauri: 11:29

What did it cost you to be in the phase of the more masked up, protected, habitual, not your true self, eric?

Eric: 11:43

Yeah, where do we begin? It costs a lot Relationships, splitting of relationships that we're no longer serving. It costs that. It costs my health, which I have worked to get that back. I had a year of a misdiagnosis and so I'm a nurse by background. So I'm seeking out Western medicine and I exhaust Western medicine with zero help. And it opens a door into Eastern medicine, into meditation, mindfulness, into the ability to close my eyes, close my ears and look and listen within.

Eric: 12:25

And that started this one year of pure. It was, it was hell, and I wouldn't change it for the world, because that was, that was the shift and that was almost like the understanding of what have I been? What have I been doing? Who am I? Because this started with looking in the mirror and being like I have no idea who you are, like this is not you. What's going on? And then asked a few people, asked me some amazing questions which, since I was in a different mindset, seeing myself, it's almost like that. You know, everyone says rock bottom. I didn't feel rock bottom. I felt like every day was groundhog day because going through the motions and it's like okay, work, work, work, paycheck, take care of family be there when I can do all this, and then, at no point was it.

Eric: 13:20

what does Eric need? And who is Eric Like. None of that even crossed my mind until this.

Lauri: 13:29

Yeah, yeah, that that feeling of the groundhog day, of looking in the mirror every single day and going who are you? Who are you? I am not this person. There's a song that's almost coming into my head this is not my house, yeah, or I'm riffing on you are not your beautiful house. That song and it's kind of playing in my head as I'm imagining you in this Groundhog Day experience and it's having a toll on your health. And when you said you turned inward, I got this ripple of energy through my body, like I could almost fuel the energy of the transformation that you went through. What were some of the questions that people asked you that were so powerful in shifting things?

Eric: 14:19

The first one is it's so simple when you say it out loud but realizing I've looked in the mirror. I've seen this person so many times. It was the time that I looked and realized wait, who are you? It was almost like the wait. What's going on? I want to highlight this because people discredit the first time that they identify something. You have a shift in your mindset and you're already elevating your energy and it seems so little but like oh, it's the seed that's planting the forest, and it's so powerful.

Eric: 15:01

So I did I. That happened in the mirror about to. I'm working night shift, 12 hour night shifts, and I'm walking downstairs about to go out the door I'm in a bad mood and my wife grabs me, gives me a hug and she said I love you. Tonight when you go to work, look for something good. So she said where is the good? And I was like that's the weirdest question in the world. And I worked at a pediatric hospital. Right, rational thinking would say there's goodness everywhere. There's kids running around, laughter, there's. I mean, that's where I was made to work, but I hadn't seen goodness in so long.

Eric: 15:41

That was the first question. The second question was how might we? And it didn't matter the question. The first question was how might we change this Instead of we need to change this? It was like, well, how might we change this instead of we need to change this? It was like, well, how might we? And those were the first two. And then the third is what does this mean to you? And that was like I thought you were supposed to tell me what it means right and so that was so weird because I'm like what?

Eric: 16:14

So those ripple, those rippled into all of a sudden, me switching from never reading to loving to read and fill every extra moment I had with getting more knowledge about myself. But um, that that goodness I found was a four-year-old who she was the first patient I saw that night. I was about to walk in the room and I heard my. I was mad because I didn't want to be, I didn't want the assignment I had that night. So I was already mad. It was, you know these pre-programmed habits.

Eric: 16:48

And I heard my wife say where's the good? I was like fine, so open the door and this four-year-old meets me with nothing but love. And I was like what a different good, like what is this? And they were both showing me two different aspects of love. And she was showing me love because that's all she had and she was so sick. But all she gave me was love. And I was like this is amazing. And then he was coming at it from a dad, from a companion, from a human to another human and I was like oh my gosh, that was the start to everything.

Lauri: 17:55

Time, and I make up that the habits of protection, of if you let yourself feel it and then you get hit with anger, it gets pulled out from under you. So if you just protect against it, then no one else can take it away. Correct? And you chose, sparked by your wife's question and that child and that father, you chose to feel the love and be in the good.

Eric: 18:30

Correct, correct.

Lauri: 18:32

And it was weird.

Eric: 18:33

It was so weird and amazing at the same time. Right, I don't remember anything else about that night, but I remember the conversations with with the dad and uh, it was. And then I remember coming home and and because I knew my wife was going to ask did you find the good? Like, and what was it? And it was like, oh my God, you're never going to believe this. And she was like, yeah, I will Like, this is how it works, you know.

Eric: 18:59

And I was like oh, my God you're a genius and working in pediatric hospital, primarily in the emergency department, so I prided myself on emotionally detaching myself from situations.

Eric: 19:13

So because we see and go through things that people probably should not see and witness and experience. Um, but the problem was I. You can't turn it off like if you're not going to feel one situation, it's going to be that way through every situation. So, ultimately, I had no idea that I became numb to all emotions and until this moment, and then what I recognized I was angry all the time, but I actually wasn't feeling angry, I was super sad and it was coming out as anger. So to your point, yes, yes, I had not allowed myself to feel anything above what I thought I deserved, and, and after that it became these mantras of I am enough. And then one day I believed it.

Lauri: 21:26

Yeah, I'm going to slow that down a little bit for people listening. He was not letting himself feel more than what he believed he deserved and mostly the quote unquote good emotions. We will let ourselves. However much we feel on the quote unquote good side or the bad side. It's sort of like we can expand our level of feeling and then also joy and presence in our own lives. If we won't let ourselves feel the bad, we're losing an equal amount of the quote unquote good. And then through telling himself over time, through telling himself over time, I am enough. And letting himself feel more and more things shifted.

Eric: 22:33

How have things shifted for you? How is life different now? Well, I'm no longer working in a hospital. So in the hospital, when all this happened, up until that point, I had been, I don't know, in the hospital as a nurse for like 12 years, something like that, and the whole time I was seeking to climb that hierarchy of ladder. You know, because that's what we do. So I was doing it the way that I was taught and I was a jerk and I wouldn't want to work with me. I didn't really climb the ladder, I didn't have the opportunities, none of that aligned.

Eric: 23:02

Well, this shift all of a sudden changed, because now I'm telling everybody, like flipping perspectives, and I became a coach without knowing it and people would come to me. They would come to me for one of two reasons One, they wanted to challenge, or two, they're like I genuinely would like help and I kept flipping perspectives and that's what I was doing was showing them the other side of the coin every single time. And like everything about my life changed I and it feels as though everything happened at once, all my changes. So my emotional, physical, um, uh, even my diet, uh, my marriage, like everything changed at one time. But it really wasn't I, it just happened so fast that I can't put it on a linear scale, um, but all of a sudden I'm like like wait a minute, I can add value in other ways. Let me be a contributor to the ER newsletter. So I started writing these and newsletters and, side note, left this out in the in the beginning.

Eric: 24:09

Growing up, writing has always been my thing. That has been my way to express to the world what I have. If I can't speak it, I can say it on paper or on a computer. So that's what I started doing and I started becoming alive. Well then people started offering me more opportunities. I wasn't seeking it anymore. All of that helped facilitate my desire to shift healthcare education. So part of my job now is recreating the healthcare education structure to a way that allows competency to flow naturally. So it's like riding a bicycle. You know, no one can give me enough PowerPoints, videos and lectures on how to ride a bicycle, and I'm going to magically know how. You have to give me the bicycle, give me a few pointers and let me ride the bike and ultimately we have that ability. And also, if I want to ride the bike, I'm going to learn how to ride the bike. If you want me to ride the bike, I'm probably not going to learn to ride the bike.

Eric: 25:20

Like I don't have that ownership of my own education, so shifting that and this all came to be through utilizing voice, through my platform of, you know, leveraging my knowledge, my understanding and now this kinder gentler more understanding of the world of, I can help you know, would you like my help, and so that's what I do now.

Eric: 25:54

So part of that is healthcare education. The other part is I call myself an alignment practitioner, and a lot of that is human design, because, starting off, it always identified or I run correctly and, as I've discovered, it's more about alignment. If we're in alignment with who we are and not trying to be someone else, things flow and the balance happens organically. For example, back to the human design, this is what opened my eyes to all this. My number one and like 67% of the world who are generators, their go-to understanding of this isn't working and we're out of alignment is the feeling of frustration. So if frustration comes in.

Eric: 26:52

It's almost like a timeout. What's going on? How do I shift? What like this is not in alignment with me. Either I'm speaking someone else's truth and this is not me, or something's going on what is going to create a satisfaction in me because that's the way I need to go, and it's almost like I'm not going to go down. I'm not going to use my energy, waste my energy to go down. I'm not going to use my energy, waste my energy, to go down this, this path. I'm going to go down the path that Eric needs to go down, and yeah.

Lauri: 27:21

So, yeah, it's interesting having the bike metaphor in there because I'm seeing images in my mind of like, if you're trying to live someone else's life, you know you you're for people who are listening to this and not seeing it. I'm holding up my hand vertically, the way we all know. Riding a bike can go well and if we're doing too much, that is not our life, not our way of speaking, not a conscious choice, not in alignment with what we're here to do. Now, all of a sudden, we're trying to ride a bike tilted sideways and it's going to fall over. And it's a lot harder.

Lauri: 28:00

Once you get the momentum of the bike being balanced and in alignment with your own life, riding a bike is relatively easy. Once you get started. It's like the beginning perspective shift that got you rolling on the bike of your life and you mentioned perspective shift. There was a perspective shift that got you rolling on the bike of your life and you mentioned perspective shift. There was a perspective shift for you. You're helping others. All of a sudden, after your wife's question and that day in the hospital shipped their perspectives. You're expressing your voice, writing your soulful speaking on paper to people in a newsletter. How would you describe what your perspective was on life before your wife's question and then what your perspective became afterwards.

Eric: 30:02

I'll put it this way, and it's a it's. It's a quote that has resonated with me, and it's we should look for what we want in life instead of continuously seeking what we don't want. And that, ultimately, is was my perspective. I was continuously looking at the things I did not want, so my focus was on all the things I did not want instead of wait what do I want? Because, honestly, I didn't know what I wanted. I just knew what I didn't want. And I was getting more of what I didn't want.

Lauri: 30:40

Yeah, yeah. Like if I go driving on the road and I'm looking for a Volkswagen bug, I'm going to see a lot of them and if Volkswagen bugs are what I don't want, it becomes like a loop of frustration loop, and I love I'm remembering again that you said when you started feeling and it feels like there was a chapter where everything moved very quickly. So if we're looking at your life from a 60,000 foot view, it almost looks like there was this moment and you had an awakening and reality. It was a period sparked by that match. I love that you said it felt weird, because I think when we see these types of things in movies, we're used to seeing two things Either the person had a spiritual awakening and it was instantly amazing, and angels were singing the resilience story where, like, it was really hard and I think we're all craving secretly the angels singing and having this. It felt weird.

Eric: 32:00

Yeah.

Lauri: 32:01

Yes, it feels so real and like it could be so liberating for so many people, because you're seeing things a different way, you're doing life a different way and that feels can feel weird, because it's different absolutely, and oh, I'm so glad you picked up on this because the further I get into this, the more I learn about me and moving forward, the weirder I get and the weirder things feel.

Eric: 32:34

But it's almost like the weirdness is now a companion of. Okay, I know I'm onto something, because if this is weird, that means it's unfamiliar. So if it is uncomfortable, it's I personally, for me, if I'm in a situation that's uncomfortable, I'm going to come out of a better person. I'm going to come out with tools, with resources, with knowledge or just with an understanding of. I didn't know this before and so now it's like a clarity. It sucks going through it. I'm not going to discredit that at all. My wife if you were to talk to her about it, she would say that she had to mourn the eric that she married because I literally became a new person.

Lauri: 33:15

Yeah, yeah, it's weird to you, and weirdness has become a sign of growth or change, or transformation for the better. And there's a siren going by, which always goes by when it wants the listeners to really hear this part. So weirdness is a sign of transformation, or growth, or change for the better, and at this point you have a like oh, it feels weird, great, yeah, what's coming?

Eric: 33:46

yeah, yes, my wife and I are like yeah, let's embrace our weirdness and let's be weird.

Lauri: 33:52

Yeah, I'm a huge fan of weird. I love embracing weirdness. I think it's part of my well, I am a manifesting generator. I'm also something called an eccentric in the Coactive Training Institute's leadership program. Training Institute's leadership program and part of my life's purpose is to sort of, at times, be the weirdest, the weirdest one out there in moments to create permission for everyone else.

Eric: 34:22

Yes.

Lauri: 34:23

So I can speak about public speaking and get up in a in front of a room full of people and get them to start going like in a corporate situation, because I'll do something that's weirder than that, so that they're willing to meet me and go that far. Bottom line. Weird is good.

Eric: 34:49

It's giving people permission to be who they know they are, like there's so much power in that of yeah, and that's ultimately where I was. It was like I need permission for someone and now like I don't need permission because I have permission. I can just be right and not just be like I am who I am and um, my, my life purpose is to create sparks of transformation. So, and and my, my profile is the gatherer of knowledge and I'm the resourceful person who has tried and failed so many times. It's a thomas edison approach. I think he was. He had to be the same thing, but it was I. I learned and figured things out by try, fail, try fail, try fail. So failure is not an option for me, because it doesn't exist. It's just one more step towards figuring out whatever this is. So part of what I do is create these sparks of transformation, which are, which were the perspective shifts those and I had no idea it's what about this?

Eric: 35:53

Or I have this energy, I'm going to share it with you and I'm going to create something in you that's you're going to be like what? The what in the world? Is that? Um? And then following that up with with the knowledge, because what ultimately shifted my mindset was eliminating what I was feeding my mind on the way to work and on the way home, and I replaced it with I call them, my Justice League table. It's all the people that I listened to, and so Wayne Dyer is like my right-hand man and he helped me start shifting perspective. But I would get to work and walk out of my car and be like how do I serve? Right? That's a totally different mentality, because now I'm not even working, now I'm simply being, and the work falls into place and and the whole time, these sparks of transformation of here you go, and that's weird, weird, you know yeah, when you look at it at a large scope, but it was.

Eric: 36:54

It was flow and um I had no idea what I was doing.

Lauri: 36:58

I knew it was good and I knew it was yeah, so you changed what you were feeding your body and what you were feeding your mind. Correct, very different nourishment on both counts.

Eric: 37:10

Different and both needed.

Lauri: 37:13

Yeah, yeah, I could talk to you forever. Likewise, and I feel like we should wrap up soon-ish I always like to ask if our listeners are feeling drawn to you. Your information will be in the show notes and I'm aware that you just said it. You were driving to work listening to Wayne Dyer in the car. There are people who are going to listen to this in their car, so can you verbally share? How could someone connect with you if they're feeling drawn to have you spark a transformation for them?

Eric: 37:53

Yeah, there's a couple of ways. The easiest is LinkedIn. I'm on LinkedIn, Pretty easy to find. My company is EMC squared, but in LinkedIn it's EMC2. So you'll find me there Also. My website is emccoachingme, so you can reach me there. Also coming out, I will go ahead and share this a podcast, and it's Pep Talks with Eric, Pep Talks with Coach Eric, and it is about what we just said flipping those negative feedback loops into positive ones. So you can, you'll be able to find that by simply typing in Pep Talks podcast and and we'll be there.

Lauri: 38:47

Nice, nice, awesome. And there's EMC squared. For those of you who are listening and not looking, there is a picture of Albert Einstein behind Eric's head on the wall.

Eric: 38:59

Yes.

Lauri: 38:59

He is the person who came up with E equals MC squared.

Eric: 39:06

And I took that and it was originally going to be Eric's medical consultant because that was I was like, oh, this is cool, but it's essential, meaningful, collaborative.

Eric: 39:16

That's everything that I do and the Einstein picture above it. You can't see it. It's the. Everyone is a genius. But if you tell a fish he's stupid for not being able to climb a tree, he's going to feel stupid for the rest of his life. A fish he's stupid for not being able to climb a tree, he's going to feel stupid for the rest of his life. Um, that concept um is, and so this was a gift for my wife and it's like ah, this is pretty much me in a, in a picture.

Lauri: 39:42

Yeah, beautiful for people listening. Is there anything left that you want them to know that you haven't already said Is?

Eric: 39:51

there anything left that you want them to know that you haven't already said. Yeah, there's two things, if that's okay, perfect. One is a concept that I came across during my journey that has resonated so deep within me. It's becoming me. There's a South African term, ubuntu, and literally translates to I am because we are, and if you just sit with that and understand the connectivity of that, of how amazing and impactful that is, it's, it's beautiful and in the store.

Eric: 40:27

There's two stories that come out of this and this is a this. I learned this when I was seeking to be a better leader the tribes if someone messed up in the tribe, they would take this person and remember, when we mess up, we are our worst critic. I don't need anyone else telling me how bad of a job I did, because I'm doing a really good job by myself coming out of this hole. So they take this person, they put them in the middle of the tribe that surround them and they start telling them the value that they bring to them. So if, if, lori, if you were to do something and we're we know you were sorry for it, but like you're feeling bad, you would be in the middle and I I would say wait a minute. No, you help me find my voice. You bring you, give me permission to speak and to, and all of these things of like. I could not be me without you, so and and sometimes this goes on for two days.

Eric: 41:24

The other story of this is just simply beautiful. This group kids this anthropologist was doing an experiment had these group of kids and said when I count to three, race to this tree. Whoever wins gets the, gets this basket of oranges. So he counts to three, the kids line up and hold hands and all walk to the tree at the same time and they all partake in the oranges.

Eric: 41:49

And he said, at the same time and they all partake in the oranges. And he said why wouldn't you try to win? And they said, basically, what good is it for one person to win if the others have to fill the defeat?

Eric: 42:00

and when we all can be one ubuntu, and that was their answer. And ubuntu I am because we are, ubuntu, I am because we are finally finished. The thought synopsis for me when I went on a hike a few months ago and I was thinking of it and I said Ubuntu I am because we are. And then I said, and we are because I am, and the power of that saying, wait a minute, it's not just about what everyone has brought me, but I'm just as powerful, like I'm just as important, to bring what I do to other people and to build and it was like a completion of like a yin yang, of a balance, of a pure dang, alignment, um, and yeah, ultimately, everything I do is with that understanding of um, out of all people.

Eric: 42:50

Tom Cruise calls it um, the plural word, the plural of humanity. Ubuntu represents the pluralness of humanity because we see humanity as human, us, when, and this is everybody all encompassing. So, yeah, that's, that's my, that's my foundation for everything I do. And a tool that I would offer is the second thing is gratefulness, is the window into gratitude. To be pure gratitude gets you to the point of the only emotion that has a future signature, Because most of the time we feel gratitude when we're given gifts, so if we're grateful for something we don't have, it's the window for us to get into this feeling of gratitude, and when we're there, the beauty is our body has no idea that it's in our mind and soon it'll be in our present moment.

Lauri: 43:56

Yeah, yeah, I love that. The body can't tell the difference between past, present or future, so if we're looking forward with gratitude, it's feeling it as if it were now. I also love the, the interplay of I am because we are and we are because I am. My metaphor for humanity is that we're like one big human orchestra, just like an orchestra that you would hear if you go to the opera or the symphony, and it's like the entire string section of humanity hasn't been playing because they're thinking that their voice doesn't matter or no one wants to hear what they have to say. In your I am because we are and we are because I am, and the stories of putting the person at the center and telling them their value, it reminds me of that. If the string section is playing and the drums are playing and the wind instruments are playing, knowing I am because we are, we are because I am that is how we will reach harmony globally.

Eric: 45:17

Beautiful.

Lauri: 45:18

Yeah. Beautiful and now it's time for what I am calling the Pivo Pivot.

Eric: 45:25

Pivo Pivot.

Lauri: 45:26

I like it. What is your favorite word?

Eric: 45:32

Oh, fascinating.

Lauri: 45:38

Hmm, what is your least favorite word? Can't, can't. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Eric: 45:56

Two things Challenge and an expansion of an idea that I originally had from someone else.

Lauri: 46:10

What turns you off?

Eric: 46:14

Mundane, yeah, mundane, we'll leave it at that.

Lauri: 46:18

What's your favorite curse word?

Eric: 46:23

Shit.

Lauri: 46:27

What sound or noise do you love?

Eric: 46:32

My wife's laugh.

Lauri: 46:36

What sound or noise do you hate?

Eric: 46:40

I don't really hate noises. Some are annoying. High pitch, super high pitch noise. There we go.

Lauri: 46:48

Okay, what profession other than your own would be fun to try? I think a diver would be fun what profession would you not like to do?

Eric: 47:06

oh man, um telemarketing and eric.

Lauri: 47:11

What do you hope people say about you on your 100th birthday?

Eric: 47:21

He asks the right questions that shifted thought patterns, that created wellness in humanity.

Lauri: 47:34

Beautiful, beautiful. Thank you so much for being here today.

Eric: 47:40

Absolutely, thank you.