Transforming Terror into Trust: Maurine’s Journey

In this episode of Soulful Speaking, Lauri welcomes transformational leader and ontological guide, Maurine Xavier. Maurine shares her seven-year journey from fear and resistance to confidence and joy in speaking. She shares the milestones that shaped her path, from befriending her terror to embracing her divine purpose. Join Lauri and Maurine as they explore the power of speaking as a spiritual practice, the importance of following joy, and the magic of trusting your voice.

TAKEAWAYS FROM THIS EPISODE:

1. Befriending Fear: Acknowledging and befriending fear is an important part of the speaking journey.
2. The Alchemy of Commitment: Commitment to the journey and purpose helps transform fear and resistance/ into alignment and joy.
3. The Power of Trust: Growing our trust muscle is an important part of a transformative speaking journey.
4. Joy as a Compass: Following our joy can help us align with our true purpose and increase our impact. 
5. The Importance of ‘Why’: Staying connected to purpose helps us stay grounded as we navigate challenges. 
6. Transforming Fear: It’s possible to shift from living in fear to embracing it as part of our spiritual paths. 
7. Speaking as a Spiritual Practice: Speaking can be a powerful spiritual teacher and transformative experience.

About Maurine:
As a Director of Transformation and Spiritual Guide, Maurine Xavier is committed to assisting you to live your best life.  After being on a lifelong healing journey combined with three decades in finance and accounting, Maurine uses transformation, life experience, and Divine Guidance to lead you to peace, freedom, and joy.    

Using her decade’s experience as a Transformational Leader, a Channel for a team of Divine Guides, an Ontological Guide, and Coach and Teacher of The Diamond Co-Creative System®️, Maurine assists you to surface your deepest wounds, transform who you are being, and heal once and for all.  When you partner with Maurine, you can go from doubting yourself, confused, and living on the hamster wheel to being and feeling confident, trusting, and in the flow.   

Maurine is also an inspirational Speaker and two-time International Best-Selling Co-Author. 

Connect with Maurine:
https://www.MaurineXavier.com
https://bit.ly/Zoom30MX
https://bit.ly/thelovetrain

Soul Sucker Quiz

Take the Soul Sucker Quiz to learn which Soul Sucker screams the loudest in your mind so you can release them from being in charge and set your voice free!

https://voice-matters.com/soul-sucker-quiz/

Transcript

Lauri (Host) 00:00

Hi there and welcome back to Soulful Speaking. I'm your host, Lauri Smith. I'm so excited about our guest today. She is a good friend of mine that I've known for - since pre pandemic times. Maurine Xavier. Maurine is a dedicated director of transformation and spiritual guide. With three decades in finance and accounting combined with a lifelong healing journey, she leverages transformation, life experience and divine guidance to help clients have peace, freedom and joy. As a transformational leader, ontological guide and coach of the diamond co creative system, she empowers others to heal deeply and live confidently. Maurine is also a two time international bestselling co author and inspirational speaker. Welcome, Maurine. Thank you so much for being here.

Maurine (Guest) 00:58

Oh, I am so blessed and honored to be with you, Lauri. 

Lauri (Host) 01:01

Oh, I'm so excited about our conversation today. I'm going to dive right in with the main question what has been your soulful speaking or your speaking journey up until this point in your life? 

Maurine (Guest) 01:24

Apprehensive. I know that who I am and the wisdom I have to offer and the energy I have is impactful. The word that came to me is contagious. I don't know if that's a word I would use. It brings forth in people what there is to be with and see, and it has been terrifying at many levels for me to speak on the big stage that I know I'm here to speak in and I've got a lot of resistance to doing it. 

Maurine (Guest) 02:01

So my journey up until now has been continuing to show up and practice and make friends with the terror in me and heal the parts of me that were terrified because from prior lives experiences I thought I was going to be killed or die or something really bad would happen to me if I spoke honestly and truthfully, the wisdom I have to share. So I'd say you know, consciously, it's been about a seven year experience to become comfortable and confident and attract our conversation. You know where I'm excited about it and looking forward to it and I show up to it and I don't have the same terror I used to at all. 

Lauri (Host) 02:42

Yeah, what was it like in the beginning? Like seven years ago, when you were first feeling or hearing words like contagious knowing you were meant to go there and you were in the sheer terror. What was it like back then? 

Maurine (Guest) 03:09

That's interesting. So my background is I was in accounting for over three decades of my life and at this time, at this recording, I'm 62. And being here and doing what I'm doing now has literally been a soul's mission of mine. So at some level I have known that I am here for a purpose and a reason.

So what it was like for me was many, many layers, multi, multifaceted. A part of me has just been. There was a process seven years ago of just learning the mechanics, like I didn't know what to do. I didn't know, like, how do you be a speaker, how do you impact people, what's the formula for being on stage? So there was a huge part of the terror in me that actually came from the fear of not doing it right, and so I'd say I was. Uh, it was the opportunity for me to befriend the terror in me, um, see the parts of, continue to see the parts of me that were terrified my inner child, mostly at that point and um be so committed to the journey and so committed to the work that I kept saying yes to speaking, even when all those other things were present. 

Lauri (Host) 04:34

And it sounds like the commitment plus befriending the terror was the process or part of the process for how you shifted it. 

Maurine (Guest) 04:45

Yes. 

Lauri (Host) 04:47

Yeah, yeah. What were some of the other kind of key milestones that you hit along the way? 

Maurine (Guest) 04:58

Well, the key milestones for me was it worked. I mean, that was the thing is. As terrified as I was as much resistance as I have when I would open up my mouth and things would pour out of me, I always made an impact. And specifically using speaking for the purpose of selling, because that was the genre I was invited into, as you speak, in order to enroll people said yes to what I had to offer. I showed up in audiences I would like end up having, like having it be even better than I imagined, and people were inviting my saying yes to my offer. So I knew it worked. I knew I was making a difference. I knew this. You know this avenue was, was here for me. 

Lauri (Host) 05:44

I feel like I want to tell some of our listeners, or tell people who might be listening, that when because I've seen Maurine when she says opening my mouth and letting stuff pour out of it, she is very much speaking soulfully, so she's not hiding behind a speak to sell sort of formula, even back in that genre she's kind of pouring her soul and what she's here to do into that formula and that is part of why it's working. She's not expecting the formula to do it, she's giving and she's of service in those moments. 

Maurine (Guest) 06:30

And I channel divine guidance. So this has been part like I. Literally one of my superpowers in the world is that I can open my consciousness. I have a group of guides that I consciously invite to be here with me and they start speaking through me, like me getting out of the way. 

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Maurine (Guest) 06:30

So I'd say a mile, a milestone for me was trusting that, whatever it was, I said that it was what was wanting to be said in the world, even when I would show up and burst I would be bursting out, crying and going oh, it was like there was a part of me that was I don't know if I was ever humiliated, but part of me was like, oh shit, what that? What did that just happen? And to really just trust this is what's meant to be happening, this isn't about me. So the milestone, taking me, the ego, me, the right-wrong me, the me that had an agenda for how it was going to look and what the impact was going to be taking that and really having that be backseat to authentically trusting that whatever came out of me in the room was what was meant to come out of me. 

Lauri (Host) 07:57

It sounds a lot like putting the trust in the driver's seat, choosing to put the trust in the driver's seat and keeping all of the shoulds and am I doing it wrong? It's not as if they disappeared. They went to the back seat. Yeah, they got to. You know, when we're in the back seat, as kids we got to say, mom, are we almost there, yet Almost Wait. Mom, don't you want to go this way? We're going to take this route. Yeah, yeah, fantastic. Any other milestones along the way that you're aware of right now? 

Maurine (Guest) 08:30

Yeah, there was a period of time that I chose to honor my joy and that's it. If it wasn't joyful for me, I wasn't going to do it. So I'd say, for there was a two, three year period between 2021 and end of 2023, 2024, where I chose to get off the speaking, to sell track. It was not aligned with my joy, it was. It was. You know, I wasn't going to let the shoulds and the fear of not having enough money push me forward, so I had the opportunity to honor my joy. 

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Maurine (Guest) 09:19

Do the inner healing show up? I do have a community called the Love Train, which is at some level. It's speaking, it's running. It's a group that meets monthly for an hour and a half. So there is a communication, there is a speaking doing it. 

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Maurine (Guest) 09:35

I chose to continue to do that, to be of service, to be of service to me as well as others. But all the other stuff I used to do, I said no, I'm not going to continue to do it. So I'd say that that was a milestone is choosing my joy ahead of the shoulds, choosing my trust in the divine and my inherent prosperity and abundance that was going to take care of me financially, and and also trusting that there is divine timing, you know, and now us being here today, I like have opportunities for speak literally falling in my lap, because I have become so excited about living, so confident in who I am, so trusting of the universe that I am always provided for. I'd say there's such a small percentage of me that even does this now for money that it's just pure passion moving me forward, and so the impact I can make is even bigger than the impact I was making before. 

Lauri (Host) 10:52

Our listeners are. ..They don't respond to the words speak to sell. They, my clients and a lot of the people that I imagine are listening, have a hard time with that and I even created a video and a program I used to tell people I would not be the speaking coach for speak to sell type things, because it was out of alignment, which, following your joy is following your alignment. Another part of what I love about what you said is speaking just using that word, like I have to use that word because that's what I'm doing and it's how I let people know how to find me. And there's a modern speaking landscape that we are in where speaking can mean get on a stage, share your stuff, invite people to work with you. It can mean grab a camera and shoot a TikTok. It can mean do what we're doing, a podcast that's going to be a YouTube video. There's so many places facilitating a monthly group or a weekly group for 90 minutes. That is all speaking. 

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Lauri (Host) 11:50

Now I felt like it was even before the pandemic and after the pandemic. It is absolutely wherever you are called in your joy and in your alignment to use your voice is speaking. So if you're listening, so if you're listening, follow your joy, the way Maurine did, because that is where your voice is needed. Follow your joy are going to invite people at the end. I believe in more speak to serve and then invite, and that actually that invitation, is actually part of the service. You give the person a chance to make a decision for themselves that sends the trajectory of their life and their growth in whatever direction it's meant to. So they may flock to you when you speak, and it sounds like they may even be flocking to Maurine even more now that she's followed her own joy. Tell me a little bit more about what is your relationship to speaking now? Paint even more of that picture. 

Maurine (Guest) 13:17

I enjoy it. You know there is a in leading groups and leading communities. I believe there is a model that that helps to have some kind of structure set up so that I and the people that I partner with help. So I'd say, and that was a part of what I had, I had this love hate relationship with structure. Right, it was like do I have structure, does the, do I have the structure, does the structure have me? So I'd say now, and I have, I have made peace with structure, I have made peace with planning and preparation. I am now teaming and and and co-creating with a, with a new, with groups of people that I didn't before, and and I it's, it's exciting to me, like the invitation to, to partner with you here today. 

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Maurine (Guest) 14:09

It was literally, oh my god, this is so great so I just immediately started doing all the preparation work. So I'd say, now it's I, I enjoy, I, I, I enjoy the process, because it's not just the showing up in front of the people I consider. At least what I do for a living is the stand I take, for whatever I am, whatever I am called to get up on a stage or the virtual stage to share for, I go through a transformational process before I even show up in the space with people. So, whatever my, my, what is my, why? 

Maurine (Guest) 14:52

So, I’d say. you know, the thing is is I was taught by one of my teachers if the most important thing for you to do is get clear about your why, so that when all the fears and all the doubts and all the whatever shoves in your space, you can continue to go back to why am I? What is my purpose for even doing this? So, and is my purpose aligned with oneness? Is my purpose aligned with my heart? Is the purpose aligned with joy? Is the purpose aligned with eternity? So, so I would say I'm kind of going all around about is now I am. I am so grounded in unity, I'm so grounded in the purpose of my soul, I'm so grounded in the, the, the why I am doing this, that I enjoy the entire process Now, even the parts that are uncomfortable. I am. 

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I, I, I'm at peace with them, I embrace them, I see them as a part of the journey, I see them as an opportunity and, yeah, that is where I am right now. 

Lauri (Host) 15:56

I love so much of that. Again, number one, as a speaking coach who comes from the theater, the fact that you have a process that starts before you go out there makes me so thrilled on so many levels and it really like what you're describing, from where you started to your process, where you are now and you love it and you enjoy and welcome and are at peace with all parts of the process. It's when I use the phrase the way out is through. So when we have been in our lives in the like fear, terror, dread this doesn't make sense If we're not clear on that. Why, that purpose? A lot of times we end up suppressing and resisting. Even if we're barreling forward and doing it and resisting, even if we're barreling forward and doing it, we're kind of still letting fear run the show. 

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Lauri (Host) 16:52

And listening to you talk, it's really clear how you turned the volume up on the why, the purpose, your calling what you're here to do, and over the course of seven years that has gotten so much louder and the static has gotten so much quieter. It's really hard to keep going when we don't know what the why is. What's the point? And money to me is not a soul-driven why why am I doing it? Because I need to make money. I'm doing it because that serves my why I'm also going to ask people for money and receive the money. Because that serves my why. So juicy.  

Maurine (Guest) 17:47

So, with that, I have been in the bowels of my relationship affair for two years. You know, I got COVID the day in July of 2022. And the day I came down with COVID, I realized that my entire life had been based in fear, like I was fear. So this, for me, has been a soul there. This whole thing is soul driven. I said yes to my why and it's you know, this whole thing is soul driven. I said yes to my why and it's you know we're in here for the long haul. So that is exactly what I have done. 

Maurine (Guest) 18:23
I have literally transformed my relationship with fear. And what, then? What fear is and it's so. This is a part of what I learned in the journey. The process is, it's baked into our human condition. It's like literally a part of what we don't know, that we don't know that is in ourselves and the opportunity, what I've gone through personally, and what I can now like part of my embodying for other people, is to realize what it is Like, what that, what the part of what holds you back is, is a story, and I don't mean to simplify this, but it's a story that you don't even realize, is you? Yeah? 

Lauri (Host) 19:10

And like a visceral, immersive 3D, like we just went to Disneyland about a week ago. I've done some immersive theater. It's a story that's a visceral, three-dimensional, immersive story, so it it feels really real. It doesn't feel like a story that's separated in a book that you're reading. It's that kind of a story. That kind of a story

Maurine (Guest)

 it's like you, it's life, it's you don't know it. Yeah, yeah, and a reminder, and you haven't been in my room when I'm recording every single episode. 

Lauri (Host) 20:02
I said in the first one that part of why I'm doing this is to reframe speaking from being a nerve-wracking obligation and like that's the end of the conversation. It's a nerve-wracking obligation. So here's a way to pick yourself up by your bootstraps and just plow your way forward, forward to actually a transformative, soul-stirring experience, part of our life. Learning like money is a huge spiritual teacher. Relationships are a huge spiritual teacher. Health is a huge spiritual teacher. Speaking is a huge spiritual teacher, and the way that you transformed the fear reminded me of that. And to say that again today, yeah, what's your favorite speaking experience so far? 

Maurine (Guest) 20:57

There was one time I was a part of a summit 2021, October of 2021. And it was a 45 minute presentation and it was heaven on earth and it was so. I was so terrified before, my inner child was so terrified before that speaking engagement. So that was like the full circle of literally before I you know the 24 hours, whatever, not even beforehand, there was such guttural terror I was having and I showed up and it was, it was magical, I mean, it was just. It was impactful, the message, how I connected with people. I could literally feel the visceral engagement within the room and, yeah, I it was. It was one of the, it was the biggest delight of my life in speaking so far. 

Lauri (Host) 22:06

I can feel the power and feel the energy and feel the magic, as you describe it. What is it that you most want people listening to this to know? 

Maurine (Guest) 22:23

That you are love. That's my stand in the world, my stand for a world where I am love and you are love, and the definition I give to love is the essence, the energy of creation that you are one with creator. You are literally the energy. That is what created you and so in, pardon me the more scared you are, the more important it is for you because at some level if you take, for my understanding and experience is, terror comes from attachment to something that is not real and something that is not you. So the terror is an opportunity for you to discover how attached you are to something that isn't you and in the space of love, being a stand for love. If you are called to be a stand for whatever you're a stand for. You know, and now I'm noticing my energy going off, so I'm going to let whatever is here press.

Maurine (Guest) 23:50

Presence itself through me, in the divine, in the energy of you, is a spark of light and in that spark of light is a message that your soul has to offer. That is what we call love and, as Lauri puts it, a soulful speaker is someone that speaks that message, and Maurine is here to bring forth that message in you. Sometimes your light is in a cage, or sometimes you have put a shadow on yourself, or sometimes you have dimmed your light for reasons you don't know, that you don't know. Her quest in the world and her mission and purpose and plan is an object relation. So that was the ego. That part was the ego talking Be the light you are. Love yourself unconditionally, show the world what you have to offer. 

Lauri (Host) 25:15

Thank you, and can you explain one more time for uh listeners, the watchers, what did you just do? 

Maurine (Guest) 25:24

So what I just did was I pay attention to the energy. Maurine walks around in a Maurine consciousness and I'm also so connected with the divine universal consciousness that there are times I'm talking, talking, talking in Maurine consciousness and then I notice a shift. I notice an energy shift where oh no, there's another set. 

Maurine (Guest) 25:49

There's another energy here that wants to talk. Sometimes that's my higher self, sometimes that's your higher self, sometimes that's the guides I'm talking that talk through me. And what just happened was I noticed myself talking and what I was talking about wasn't landing the message. That was the answer to the question that you had. So I stepped back, I opened my consciousness and I let myself speak. The vibration of the energy that was a higher vibration than the one I had been speaking. 

Maurine (Guest) 26:23

I let that talk through me and then in the process of talking, I noticed part of the message that was coming out of my mouth was ego consciousness. So I also called myself on know the mission, the purpose and the plan. No, that's ego. This is the. And then shifted back to the higher vibration. That is what happened. 

Lauri (Host) 26:54

I'm not a channel in the way that Maurine is, and yet some of what she just went through in front of us any of us can do. We don't need you know if we're sitting there going, but I'm not a channel. There is a way that we can move our ego to the side and let our higher selves speak. 

Maurine, where can our listeners find you if they would like to go deeper with you in some way? 

Maurine (Guest)

Um, my website and my name is Maurine Xavier. So maurinexavier. Maurinexavier.com is my website.  On there, it has a place to connect. If you want to schedule a 30-minute, connect with me. It has an events tab for upcoming events and it has the Love Train, which is my regular monthly group where I meet with a community of women who are looking for a variety of things. So that would be the best place to find me and where we can connect. 

Lauri (Host) 28:01

Fantastic, and we will put that in show notes. If people are, say, driving as they listen to this, you can go home and find her there. Is there anything else you wanted to share before I go into a rapid fire set of questions? 

Maurine (Guest) 28:18

I want to share the impact you have had on me because you and I were, I think, a divine. We were meant to meet all those years ago and what you offer is profound, like you're what you're not a speaking coach, you are a transformational leader, and all the different ways that you helped me in my own journey because you were one of my coaches early on to come into the body, to discover stuff in the body, to hold a room. So that's one of the things I want to share is like what and who you are as an evolutionary leader. So I want to tell the listeners and the audience that what an impact you have and continue to have on my life and what an honor and a blessing it is to be able to be one of your clients and ongoing as a friend and an ally. 

Lauri (Host) 29:16

Thank you. Thank you so much. Yeah, we were that's. You know, follow your joy, follow your energy. We met at a conference, convention type thing, in the hallway on the way to the bathroom and both of us listened to the energy pulling us toward each other. And we've been in each other's lives pretty much nonstop. The cadence of the rhythms and the form has changed over the years and we've been in each other's lives nonstop. So when we say, follow your joy, follow the energy, sometimes it doesn't. It's like you don't know what the form is yet You're purely following the joy or the energy. So thank you for saying that. Okay, some of you know I loved the TV show Inside the Actor's Studio when I was a child and the host, james Lipton, asked a series of questions. That was inspired by a series of questions from someone else named Bernard Pivot. So I'm now you know we're paying it forward with this. 

Maurine. What is your favorite word? 

Maurine (Guest)

Life. 

Lauri (Host)

What is your least favorite word? 

Maurine (Guest)

Hate. 

Lauri (Host)

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? 

Maurine (Guest)

Adventure, adventure. 

Lauri (Host)

What turns you off? 

Maurine (Guest) 30:50

Nothing turns me off anymore. 

Lauri (Host) 30:54

What is your favorite curse word? 

Maurine (Guest)

Fuck. 

Lauri (Host)

What sound or noise do you love? 

Maurine (Guest) 31:04

Birds yeah, hummingbird and just most birds. I love their sound. 

Lauri (Host) 31:10

What sound or noise do you hate? 

Maurine (Guest) 31:14

Honking of horns, like in New York City. 

Lauri (Host) 31:19

What profession other than your own would be fun to attempt? 

Maurine (Guest) 31:26

oh, what I'm seeing is like a um, what like? A gym, a high trapeze artist, you know in the circus that does the all the trapeze stuff from on high. That's surprising. 

Lauri (Host) 31:43

What kind of profession would you not like to do? 

Maurine (Guest) 31:46

Hmm, hmm, wow, isn't that interesting. I would not like to work at the sewer system, having to be with our excrements. 

Lauri (Host) 32:01

And what do you hope people say about you on your 100th birthday? 

Maurine (Guest) 32:09

She made a difference in my life. 

Lauri (Host) 32:15

Thank you so much. There's that, why.  part of the why touching you. Thank you so much, Maurine and listeners, we'll see you back here. Same bat channel, same bat place, Youtube, Apple podcast, Spotify, all the places.